I'm really, really exhausted. Needless to say, I've been incredibly busy studying for my last chemistry test and my final this Friday, taking care of KDPhi business, managing spending time with my family, friends, and boyfriend, a potential job opportunity, and spending time alone, by myself. As much as I love to be around people, I just need some alone time sometimes. But it's all good.

During the 5 or 6 days that I have in between the end of Summer I and the beginning of Summer IV, I'm hoping to accomplish more job and spending time with the family, friends, and lover boy. I'm getting better and better at this whole time-management thing and this whole self- discipline thing also. Feeling better as I get more and more things accomplished and hopefully this feeling stays for a good while. Hopefully I get good enough grades to keep my GPA above a 2.0 and hopefully somehow manage to get it over a 3.0.

I know I probably could have done better during Summer I but the fact that I missed a whole week of school simply because I was so tired definitely contributed to the fact that I probably didn't go as many times as I should have gone, which is all the days, simply because I didn't want to. Oh well, we'll see. For Summer IV, I plan on going to every single class, regardless of how "tired" I am and whatnot. I know that if I do the quizzes within the two or three days that they are first posted on WebCT, I won't be up late at night trying to scramble to make 12 out of 12 on impossible quizzes.

But anyways, I guess that's all that I have to update.

I'm really exhausted. Maybe I'm just mentally exhausted, whatever. I am having the hardest time figuring out what major I plan on pursuing. I know for a fact that I feel like the safe road is going to be pursuing a bachelor of science in biology but if I'm really suited more towards a bachelor of science in human nutrition and food science, then what makes it so hard to just...switch?

I think the most definite factor in my decision is my parents. I can't lie, I want them to be proud of my decision. I don't want to go into family gatherings and have them scoff and laugh at what I decided to do. In my mom's head, you can't get into medical school if you don't have a degree in biology. And maybe she's really instilled that into my head.

But I guess, for the Fall 2006 semester, we'll see just how everything goes. I'm taking one class in Nutrition and if I like it, then I guess we'll go ahead and major in it. I just want to be someone that stands out to the admissions committee in medical school. Everyone is going to be a biology major or a science major.

So what's going to make me stick out then? 

So I feel like I got a lot of stuff accomplished today and that makes me feel good. I took this test called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and found out that good ol' Joanne is a ENFJ which stands for extrovert, intuitive, feeling, judging. Cool no?

It basically tells me about my personality and what careers most fit my personality and the career that I would most likely get the most satisfaction out of. Physician wasn't technically on there but I still want to be one. But I think I've finally decided that Human Nutrition and Foods is the major in which I'll probably do my best. Dietician was actually on both tests that I took so it makes me feel really good about switching majors but anyways, we'll see how that whole thing goes in the future. I still have to have this major talk with my parents and we'll see how that goes too.

I am absolutely love this song by Rihanna, Unfaithful. No, it has no relation to anything happening in my life currently but I just like the beat and the piano part in it. I guess that's the update for today.

Time for more studying...

First things first, Happy Birthday Dawnie!!

Yesterday we celebrated Dawn's birthday at Prego and it was hella expensive. Super fun, but expensive for sure! I loved spending time with my old friends and seeing old people and it was a lot of fun eating cake with them and just having fun!

Also, I saw the movie Click yesterday featuring Adam Sandler and Kate Beckinsale. I thought it was a really good movie! And Henry decided that our "song" would be "Linger" by The Cranberries. It was a good movie. It basically told you not to fast forward through life and to live it with everything that you got. Adam Sandler played this guy named Michael and basically he was this big-shot architect who let his job get in the way of his family. He basically got to learn that it wasn't the job that mattered but family. And I really liked the movie!

Also yesterday, I finally got to see Henry after his whole week away at Austin. I made an agreement with him not to see him throughout the week but at least get Friday's with him. Excited because I really feel like it's going to help me study more and get my priorities in the right direction.

I have to go to school to study and study and study some more. It's really crazy the amount of studying that I'm doing but it's all in the name of doing well in school and to do well in my future. I am absolutely unsure of what I want to do anymore in terms of major. Pre-medicine? Pre-law? Pre-business? Not sure anymore.

Sometimes I just want someone to decide for me so I don't have to make the decision and I don't have to go through the trouble of trying to figure out what the "right thing to do" is and whatnot.

Make the decision for me. I'll do the work to achieve that decision.

Today they found what seems to be the bodies of Chrisalee Aparece and Huy Ngo. It just shows the true extent of human mortality and how just fucked up some people in this world can be. It just makes me so upset to see how someone so innocent, so young, have their life taken away from them. People do not deserve that. People who do things like this to other people do not deserve the freedoms given to them by God. I know it sounds angry and whatnot but I can only imagine what it must be like to lose a sister, a daughter, a cousin, a best friend, a friend. I've gone through the loss of my own grandfather and my pledge brother and that was already hard. How do you go through life with all this shit thrown at you?

I know that if I lost my sister, my younger sister, I would be completely devastated. I wouldn't know what to do. All my life I've spent protecting my little sister from all the assholes in the world. From the first boyfriend to the first time in high school, I've always tried to look out for her. But what will I do when she wants to go out at 1:00 AM and I'm not there to protect her? It's so scary, the thought of losing someone you love. But that is life. You deal with it right?

I guess so. If that's the way you want to look at it. If I grieve, I grieve for a very very long time.

There's really nothing more I can do besides pray. And pray. And pray some more.
Pray for understanding.
Pray for hope.
Pray for the ability to forgive.
Pray for the ability to move on.

Pray for the souls of Chrisalee Aparece and Huy Ngo.